Cancun...Part 3... I do!

Those of you who might have been concerned…. Goobs survived the night! He only knocked over the table while getting into the hammock! The night before Daddy had informed us that he was not going to be able to stay for the wedding… He was nervous about getting back to work. Of course no one really believed him… But when I woke up there was an empty bed… No Daddy… It was a sad day in Cancun.

We met everyone for breakfast and then made our way to the pool The girls had a couple of hours before we had to start “putting our faces on”. Jen had a hair appointment at 12 and I decided to go with her so she could have a little company. The rest of us had appointments at 1. It was a nice relaxing afternoon, enjoying champagne and being pampered a little bit. After our appointments we had a nice lunch and immediately up to the room to get dressed.

Jen’s room over looked the reception site.  While we were getting dressed we were watching them set up for it. They were struggling quite a bit trying to keep everything from blowing away. It was such a windy day. Eventually the wedding coordinator spoke with Jen about moving the reception inside. She really didn’t want to, the spot was beautiful, overlooking the ocean. Eventually she decided to move it inside. I think at first she was a little upset about but it ended up being the best decision.

Jen was stunning and her dress was absolutely perfect. The bridesmaids dresses that Jen picked out were also perfect. Everyone looked very nice. After all of the girls were ready we walked over to my room, which just so happened to be right next to the ceremony. On our way over we had to walk past the pool, everyone started clapping and wishing Jen the best. We got to the room and were patiently waiting for everything to start. CNA was running this show! All the sudden he sends Jane, the mother of the bride, down the isle… Flora the wedding coordinator had not even made it into the room yet. I think I had to tell CNA that he needed to pump the brakes a little bit on this one.  Finally it was time, walking down the isle was an amazing site. Seeing everyone there and the view overlooking the ocean. Dreany made a funny point. No one in our group is ever very serious, we are always joking and kidding about. He said that he walked into the ceremony and he had never seen that group of people so serious in his entire life.

After pictures down on the beach we headed up to the lobby. I was dying to see the reception. We were finally able to enter the room. As we walked in we were handed blue cocktails that were absolutely delicious. The room was beautifully decorated and there was a large space for turnpikin'. Jen made a great decision. We didn’t have to worry about the weather or wind. Also the room was very private, drunks couldn’t walk by screaming, interrupting everything.  Each wedding party couple was introduced and had a song that they had to walk out to and give a little dance. Sprute and Kristen came out strutting that ass. Mexicali and Becky came out. And then Josh and I came out to Bottoms up… we did the classic shower followed by a turnpike. I think my favorite part of our entrance was when Josh turned to me and asked, " soo.. you wanna turnpike now!" After everyone was introduce dinner began. After dinner Lucas had wanted everyone to give speeches. I was a terrified because I had not done so well at paige’s wedding, shaking, forgetting my words, getting all choked up. This one I was much better at.. thanks for the practice Paige. I told few story of the party pigs! (Blog on party pigs to come!)

After everything Jen and Lucas had their first dance... at the end of it there were fireworks. It was awesome but smoked out the room for a little bit. Then the party began. It was finally time to make some bad decisions....The DJ was perfect, he didn’t talk at all and just played the music we wanted. We were all dancing like complete idiots and having the best time ever. At one point the wedding coordinator asked Lucas if he wanted to cut the cake. His response was, " NO, no cake... nothing is going to stop this party!" Then the tequila shots began and out of no where the wait staff brought out a beer bong… Are you kidding me? I took one bong of beer and that was going to be it. But these people were like those ladies in the night club a few nights ago. From what I recall...They shoved me on the floor and shoved the bong in my nouth, but this time it was not beer. It had tequila, some red stuff and god knows what else in there. Things got a little bit western! It was Game over for me!

                What a night.... what a weekend. That will be a wedding that will be talked about for many moons! The next day at breakfast we started saying our goodbyes and reliving the weekend. Sprute and I decided to stay and extra day! It was a great decision. A day in Mexico recovering and relaxing. I needed that extra day for sure. I was not quite ready to get back to reality. We enjoyed the day out by the pool. It just so happened that the people who worked the wedding the night before were all out at the pool working..... Alejandro was waiting on us.... Once I finally made it out the the pool he walked over to us and started laughing... He looked at me and asked if I remembered him.. Of course how could I forget the waiter named Alejandro that the night before we requested Lady GaGa, Alejandro, for and he bonged a beer during his song!! Classic!

The weekend had finally come to an end for me. It was sad to go and say goodbye to all of my friends.... it would be weird waking up the next day and not going to breakfast, asking for a drink and it immediately being brought to me, having someone make me an omlete every morning..... but the time had come to leave.

Thanks Jen and Lucas for some great memories and a Flannnntastic weekend!! Love you mean it!! Now lets get trampled!

Simply,

Meg

Cancun... Part 2.... Scoop and Hammer

Me: Daddy, Daddy turn the jams down we are getting pulled over.

Daddy: No we are not…Are we really?

I look around the cab and the boys are shoving their money down their panties and throwing wallets under the seats. I just sat there frozen and terrified. Thoughts immediately started wondering through my mind. What if I get separated from the boys? Who do I call? What will happen to me? Donkey show?.. I had my purse, camera, flip and wallet full of everything on my lap, clutching it with a death grip…. The cab driver immediately jumps out and the cops come up to the car, shining his light on us, all over our laps… He doesn’t say a word, turns off his light and walks back to his truck. I see the cab driver speaking to the police. All of the sudden he hops back in the cab and floors it out of there. What in the hell was that all about? He turned to me and said in broken English nothing 10 dollars can't fix. The look on everyone’s face said it all, thank god we got out of that one. Piece of advice # 2 not followed…. At least we survived the night.

It just so happened to be Canadian spring break while we were there and we had met the Canadian Daddy. His name was “Lamarcus”, what a piece of work. He had these business cards that had his name on them with a quote: “ This is going to happen weither you like it or not” and down on the right hand corner was his room number, hand written. If you flipped the card over all it said was BOOM! He was classic! We couldn’t get enough of Canadian Daddy. He strolled around the resort always drink in hand with the bedroom slippers the hotel provides. At this point he was on his second pair and they were no longer white, more like a blackish gray color. Canadian Daddy did teach us some valuable things. My favorite was the “ Scoop and Hammer”. This is when you order a whiskey and coke. As soon as the waiter gives it to you, you begin to scoop out the ice. What you do with the ice is completely your choice. You can throw it on the floor, at people or in a near by bush. Then you hammer the drink. I was fortunate enough to witness the Canadian Daddy teach our Daddy this valuable tidbit! Almost piddled I was laughing so hard.

The next morning we were all in bed and Goobs was asleep out in  the hammock on our balcony… All of the sudden he comes flying in the room screaming, Do you think Chuck Norris Askey is sleeping the day away? Cancun never sleeps…buzzing around the room. Finally he hops in the shower and in no time at all is out the door starting his day. I just sat in bed wondering what in the hell just happened in here. Daddy and Mr. Pebbles had no recollection of any of this when they woke up. Eventually we got up and headed to  breakfast.

At breakfast Tim saw us and joined. We were recapping the night before when I looked over and Tim was wearing a Mexican wrestling mask. Where in the heck did that come from? The day before the Bostyan and Lilly family went to the Mexican flea market. This is where they found this little gem. It was gold with orange lightning bolts on either side of the holes for your eyes. On either side of the head were two black bull horns and in between the two horns was this orangish/brown pube like hair. We referred to him as Mexicali! It was the funniest thing I have seen. He was just hanging out at breakfast... as Mexicali.

After we ate we headed to the pool, it was like groundhog day. All of the sudden Mr. Pebbles had disappeared with Daddy. When he returned to the pool he was wearing cowboy boots, cut off jeans, and a wool/suede vest. Quickly Mexicali joined him. What a combo, they quickly became the talk of the pool. They even had their pictures taken with a massive iguana.

Everyone had finally made it to Cancun at this point and we headed to the beach for a few games of volleyball. Little did we know that Drean came fully prepared. He had brought a little bit of Wash Park. Out comes the volleyball from home. The same ball that we have played many games in Wash Park with. Thoughtful? Weird? Maybe both but it was perfect, good thinking Drean. So the games began again with a nice little beach bar right behind us. Jams pumping, on repeat… I swear I loved the Black eyed peas song Time… until the 50^th time it was played.

The most difficult thing about the trip was the fact that you have endless options of what to drink. It is really hard to figure out what you want and what you are really in the mood for. Plus it was hot, we were drinking all day and I did not want to feel bloated I quickly became friends with the bartender and he made me a drink called “After Sex”. It was amazing, refreshing and perfect. In it was Sambuca (I think that is what he said), watermelon liqueur, sprite and I would have him add vodka! They were dangerous.

Another full day of sun and fun and we were ready for dinner. This night was going to be a tame one at least for me. We had dinner at a sit down restaurant and the food was very good. It was insane you could order anything off the menu because you didn’t have to pay for a thing. When it came to dessert time I was torn between flan and crème brulee, so why not have both of them! Oink Oink.  After dinner we all made our way back down to the beach and had a little roast for Jen and Lucas, just telling stories. Then Jen and Lucas introduced everyone and we all had a great laugh. Earlier where we had been playing beach volleyball they had set up a beach night club and we Jersey Turnpiked it all night. If Jen and I saw someone just standing there, we would both look at each other and say, “looks like he needs a little turnpikin”. I did learn that you have to be careful with who you turnpike. I saw a random guy standing looking a little bored and I felt generous so I tunrpiked him. Little did I know I would have a Stage 5 clinger… I finally slipped away from that poor guy. I wanted to be in bed a little earlier that night anyways, so I would be nice and fresh for the big day.

I was still awake when the boys made it back to the room. We visited for a little while. Then got ready for bed. Goobs was terrified of falling out of the hammock during the night. We said goodnight and Goobs headed out to his bed. All the sudden we hear a large crash. We all stare at each other. Then bust out laughing, he must of fallen out. We didn’t hear another peep....

To be continued……

Simply,

Meg

Cancun... Part 1... Advice

Success!! My work pants still fit! I mangaged to have the best time ever, eat and drink whatever I want, not work out a single day, unless you count dancing my face off and at the end of it was still able to fit nicely into my uniform!

First I would like to say congrats to the new Jennifer "Askey" Bostyan and Lucas "Askey" Bostyan!

I just got back from Cancun, Mexico. What a trip! I have so many things to tell you so I am going to break this blog into parts! Here we go... Part 1!

I had finished up a trip on Wednesday evening and was dying with anticipation for my alarm to ring at 5:15 am. A cab picked me up outside of the crashpad and my trip began! I thought that I would have plenty of time but JFK is a New Yorker crazed airport…. full of people in foul moods and dressed like the are attending a funeral. I bounced in the airport brightly dressed, huge smile on my face and ready for some sun! I arrived at the gate and the flight crew was very nice and pleasant. They immediately began to give me advice while I was in Mexico. It went something like this 1) DO NOT go anywhere alone. 2) Stay on the resort if at all possible 3) avoid the police at all cost. Little did I know that I would break two of the rules on the first night…….

My name was called and I jumped up to get my seat assignment. I was so excited… I walk down the jet bridge and there were probably 10 police officers with 3 dogs waiting for everyone to walk past, just to give us a little sniff. I start thinking about what the flight crew had told me before and was just sniffed on my way to the plane… Is Mexico that scary?

We land and the hot air smacks you right in the face. I instantly have swamp ass…. So I get to customs and of course I pick the slowest line possible… I make it through and head outside having no idea what I am about to walk into. I make my way through all the wandering people, god that drives me insane. I swear people check their brains with their bags. At this point I have no idea who am suppose to look for, I am drenched in sweat, frustrated and ready for a beer. I just begin to wander taking in the scene. Maybe I checked my brain too. I walk out the door and I am immediately ambushed. “Senorita, senorita would you like a ride?” Ah! Carumba,  totally confused a senor finds me and grabs my bag, I didn’t even have time to say no. He takes off with it and I am chasing after him (he was a quick little senor)… I start to laugh a little because I don’t think he realized how much my bag weighed. I could see the sweat just pouring off of him carrying that thing around at 100 miles a hour. He probably thought it can’t weigh that much, she is only little… but seriously meg, how can bathing suits weigh that much…. Ooops! I finally catch him and explain to him that I booked a shuttle and give him my name. Of course no record of my reservation. Great how am I going to get there…I am about to be taken to the cleaners on this one and about to go postal. I look up and I swear it was sparkling, there was a bar!!!!! I excuse myself and order my first cerveza, Pacifico! God that first sip was flantastic. I look over and the senor with my bag is setting up a ride for me.

First thing I see as we are leaving the airport is this…….Where else in the world would you ever see that!

ps. this is an Air Traffic Control Tower (for those of you who didn't know, now you know!)

I could not wait to see everyone! I get to the Gran Real Caribe and dropped all my stuff off at the room. I was staying with Mr. Pebbles, Daddy and Goobs. No one was in the room so thought I would find them at the pool. It didn’t take too long, must be my James Bond skills. Jen came running up drink in hand! As CNA (Chuck Norris Askey) would say all weekend, "It’s a party”! I threw on my suit and headed to the pool. Immediately the drinks start coming. With an all inclusive hotel you do not have to pay for a thing, just tip every so often. It was the weirdest yet most amazing feeling. We spent the morning at the pool and then decided to grab some lunch. After lunch we made our way down to the beach. It was a little windy, but beautiful. The water was so blue and the sand was so white. We had our own private Bostyan cabana and it was in the best location. There was a little beach bar right next to us and a volleyball net. The best part was, as we looked around, right behind us… it was a glorious sight, I think it was sparkling too… yes a beer pong table. What more could you ask for? Beer Pong with endless amounts of free beer! Congrats to Mr. Pebbles, Amanda and myself for running the table! Lets just say it started the night off right!

After a full day of sun and drinking it was time for dinner. We all met in Jen & Lucas’s amazing room and enjoyed a few beverages. In all of the rooms they had 4 liqour bottles hanging upside down and in a little mini fridge are mixers and beer = It’s a party (CNA)! We visited for a little while and made our way to the restaurant.

After dinner we met in the lobby and had a great visiting session! It was so nice to see everyone and meet all of Lucas’s Big Sky friends! But I was starting to feel a full day of drinking and sun. Lucas wanted to go out, it was his only night he would be able to go. He also has a way of talking me into doing anything, whatever the groom wants the groom gets. So I put my party pants on and got a second wind.  Two of the boys went to their rooms to change. One in blue leather snake pants, J-Wow and the other in cut off jeans, cowboy boots and sleeveless biker button down shirt, Mr. Pebbles.

This would be the first piece of advice that I did not follow...I left the resort. We got a cab and they dropped us off at Daddy-O’s. We figured we had to go there for Daddy's sake! As soon as we got out of the cab we were immediately harassed and people were trying to wheel and deal. The first guy wanted 45 dollars all you can drink for Daddy-O’s and 49 for two more place including Daddy-O’s… us being pilots said oh hell no…. I let the boys handle this one. While I was waiting for what we thought would be the deal of the century I took in the scene. I was in shock, there was a tug on my shorts and it was a 7 year old little girl. She was out with drunk ass people like us at 1 am trying to sell friendship bracelets. I couldn’t believe my eyes… What in the world? Who lets their 7 year old children see this hot mess….

The boys somehow made a deal… 20 dollars all we can drink. Jones up.. lets do this! The guy wanted us to follow him. We began walking down the street and we walked past a club with people dancing on the bar and it looked crazy. I know we are going to have a blast and I start looking for my spot on the bar…. Then I notice that we keep walking past more clubs further and further from Daddy-O’s. Wait a tick, I asked, um… where are we going? He pointed to a little porch area with not a single soul in the place. I guess you get what you pay for. We still rocked the place. I mean tore it up. Dancing on stage, the shower came out… jersey turnpikin, lucas gave us a vanilla ice performance, Bruggeman pole dancing, Diapers dancing with a crazy man and Sha-Wow gettin straight down!

While we were dancing there were these women that came out of nowhere… not dressed in very much, gross, and shoved a shot glass down Amanda’s shirt and shoved Bruggeman’s face into it. Then she stuck a shot glass down his pants and forced Amanda to take that one… then asks for 20 dollars…. What? I see him start to argue with her. They are so pushy around here and will do anything to squeeze a dollar out of you.

By the end of the night the dance floor was so sticky your shoes would stick to it. Goobs flip flop came apart because of it. I also think I was wearing more of the drinks than what had been drunk. We finally decided to leave… as Mr. Pebbles would say “ my dogs were barking”. Shockingly I wanted to walk home, which thank god no one listened to me and we got a cab. There were 6 of us at this point all piled into this little cab. Daddy in the front pumping the jams and Goobs, Do Do, Diapers, Mr Pepples and myself all in the back. All of the sudden I turn around and see cop lights behind us  and another cop truck pulls up next to us and with a speaker phone yells something in Spanish. Oh dear god…

To be continued.......
Simply,
Meg